I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize