It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
