she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
