One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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