You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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