I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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