I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just had sex on a roof
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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