Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There r osticjed everywhere
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
