All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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