who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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