Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
