super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
