...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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