I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
