dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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