Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
