What a fucking waste of an outfit
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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