He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
