well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize