It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this hospital has no fireball
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
