dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
