it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
