i just google imaged poop.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize