Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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