i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
