Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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