Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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