oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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