Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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