question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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