brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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