At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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