My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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