This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
