i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
