I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
