Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
