i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
