I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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