Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
