she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is the high leading the old right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Shame - the story of my life.
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