I wannas sexs uuuuu
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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