Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
