is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
