I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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