I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
