Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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