absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
