I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
