im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize