i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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