I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
