the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
