she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
