she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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