watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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