What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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