You can't motorboat a personality
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i out mim tonsoeep
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