Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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