We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
