I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize