But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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