Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize