: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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