I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
